I love black thongs
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
