If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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