I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This is my gift to your gina
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
