I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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