return my video game
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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