Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize