Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
