Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
