i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
