If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
