We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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