dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
