I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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