is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
