i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
