I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
