im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
