haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
