This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
