There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
