You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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