I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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