He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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