you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
