I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
