That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
