you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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