Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
