why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
