Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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