K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If I die, sorry about rent.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
