i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
