So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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