kristin has been a bad kristin
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
