A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
