I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
