RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
