Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she looked like the before picture.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
