one word: firstdatebathroomanal
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
