Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
