he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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