I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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