Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
they need to just BURY HIM!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
