how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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