he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
