She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
where does the pee come out of this thing
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
