That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
