He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
