even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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