Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
