What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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